


Does it count?

by AndrewFloydWebber (emtbomb)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bottom Dean, Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, M/M, Non-Hunter Winchesters, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 05:16:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4250757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emtbomb/pseuds/AndrewFloydWebber
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can Dean really call it Rape?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Does it count?

**17 years old**

Dean had dated Brian for 11 months. That might not sound like a long time, but for a 17 year old who’d never had a boyfriend it felt like forever. 

It was true love. Until it wasn’t.

Brian was the greatest boyfriend in the world. Until he wasn’t. 

Brian was head over heels for Dean when they first met at the local day camp. Brian was a camp councilor and Dean was a junior councilor (not because he wanted to be, but because John enrolled Sammy in day camp and Dean needed to look out for him). 

They started dating quickly and once school started up again Brian would drive 45minutes to pick Dean up and 45 minutes to bring him to Brian’s place and then another 45 to bring Dean back home again. All because John had the impala. Dean thought Brian must really adore him.

They always hung out at Brian’s because his house was huge and he had an amazing basement with a pool table, a Ping-Pong table, and even some arcade games. Plus Brian’s parents respected his privacy and would never enter his room if Dean and Brian were alone together. 

Dean lost his virginity to Brian after six months of dating. Brian wasn’t a virgin, but he never pressured Dean into doing anything he didn’t feel comfortable with. Well that’s not entirely true. Around the four-month mark Brian would hint at his frustration. 

“I mean it’s not like you haven’t given me a blow job! You’d probably enjoy this much more than that,” he’d say.

“I’m clean, but I’ll wear a condom if you really want,” he’d say.

“I’d make it so good for you, baby,” he’d say.

Brian would start to lay hints that other people (more sexually active people) were into him.

“Stephanie wouldn’t leave me alone today,” He’d claim over the phone. He told Dean that Stephanie really wanted him to fuck her in the janitors closet but he loved his green-eyed boyfriend too much. Dean tried to be happy others were jealous of something he had, but mostly it left a big pit in his stomach. They went to different high schools so Dean had no way of knowing who these girls and boys Brian would mention even were. 

One day Brian asked Dean out of the blue, “Remember Clea from camp? You know, the slutty C.I.T?”

“Mhmm,” Dean nodded. 

“She just asked me to come over. I think she wants the D,” Brian laughed. 

Dean knew Brian loved him, so the night of their sixth month anniversary they decided they would finally go all the way. Brian was so excited he turned the entire thing into a scene from a John Hughes flick. It came complete with a sweet white teddy bear, champagne in the Jacuzzi, and John Mayer playing softly the entire night. 

It was cheesy as fuck. But it was perfect. 

Five months later, just weeks before what would be D+B’s one year anniversary everything came crashing down. 

Sammy had some debate team championship out of state, so Dean and John shipped off to cheer him on and get away for a few days. 

Saturday night Dean got a call from Brian who sounded like he was trying to keep from crying. He told Dean he’d gotten really drunk at a party and had hooked up with some guy. He woke up next to him and needed to tell Dean. He couldn’t keep it from him. Dean cried in the bathtub all night.

When Dean got home, Brian was waiting for him on The Winchesters’ front steps. Dean tried to tell Brian that he’d forgiven him, but Brian said he couldn’t forgive himself. That was probably a load of bull though in retrospect. Brian also mentioned that he was leaving for college and Dean still had another year of high school left. He said it was probably for the best.

Dean was crushed. He felt ashamed that he hadn’t even had the balls to breakup with the asshole that cheated on him. 

However, Dean and Brian decided they should still be friends and even hung out a few times during the summer after their breakup. One night they even fucked. Dean felt used and shitty the whole week after, especially since Brian was apparently also banging the ex-C.I.T. Clea as well. 

The next time they chilled and Brian made a move, Dean told him no. Brian was obviously pissed and immediately drove Dean home.

 _Well, fuck that guy_ , Dean thought at the time. He couldn’t believe that was all his Brian (well, not _his_ Brian) cared about. He didn’t pick up any of Brian’s calls after that.

That is, until Brian texted him apologizing for being such a piece of shit. He told Dean that sometimes he wished they could still be together even though he knew it was for the best. But it made it hard to be just friends. He asked if they could try again. They decided to chill and play cards that night.

Dean told Brian they weren’t going to fuck. “I’m serious,” Dean had said. “We’re just going to hang so don’t bother driving me all the way to your place if that’s not OK. Just call that bitch Clea.” Brian agreed.

They started out drinking a couple of beers over a poker game when Brian pulled out these bright blue bottles of NOS energy drink. Dean had never had it before and the fact that you couldn’t see the color of the liquid inside gave him the willies. He laughed it off, “Dude. That looks like it holds radioactive waste from area 51.”

“No dude, it’s really good! Wanna taste it?” So Dean did. It was really good.

“Did you put alcohol in this,” he asked? Brian swore he only put a little vodka in it so that they wouldn’t lose their buzz.

Dean drank his really fast. Too fast. Brian even offered his giant bottle to Dean. Dean said they should split it. Dean was wasted. Brian had probably only had one beer.

He was giggly and the room was starting to spin a little when he felt a hand palming his cock through his jeans. Brian’s lips were at his neck. 

“We’re not having sex, Brian,” Dean said. It didn’t come out as forcefully as he wanted it to. It was more breathy and sexed up.

“I know. Let’s just make out a little, baby.” So they did. And it felt good. Dean missed Brian sometimes. Brian flicked open Dean’s fly. 

“Man, I mean it. No.” Dean said. He was starting to lose control a little.

“Ok.” Brian said, though he made no moves to stop. He put his hands underneath Dean’s armpits and hauled him onto his back on the bed, his bowed legs hanging over the edge.

 _I don’t feel so good. What’s going on? Brian stop._ But he didn’t have the energy to say it

All he could say was, “ugh… Bri… don’t.” _I’m tired. I cant move. I can barely keep my eyes open._

Dean felt a nudge at his ass. He didn’t even know how they both got naked. Brian pressed a heavily lubed finger into him. Then another.

“You like that, baby?” Dean only responded with a shaky breath.  
_This is really happening? My body feels so heavy. His hands are everywhere. Ok. I guess this is really going to happen._

“Ok Brian. Ok,” Dean managed to get out. Brian started to jack his own cock and was whispering things Dean couldn’t even understand. _He was just so tired._

“Do you have a condom, Bri?” Dean remembered that. It was important.

“No, baby. I don’t” Brian was fingering Dean’s hole like he was a girl. Probably trying to find Dean’s prostate. Either he was just shitty at this, or Dean was too numb to really feel anything. 

“Go get one…”

“I don’t have any in the house.” Dean whined as if he was about to cry.

“Ok baby, it’s ok,” Brian assured. “I’ll go to the store and get one.” 

Dean heard footsteps and then Brian’s bedroom door opening and closing. He was so tired. He swung his legs onto the bed and tried to curl up. He just wanted to sleep. 

Not five minutes later (hardly enough time to go up and down Brian’s stairs, let alone actually get anywhere, Brian’s door opened back up.

“I got one baby, don’t worry,” Brian cooed. But Dean didn’t hear the crinkle of a condom wrapper. Or the sound of one sliding down Brian’s shaft.

Brian grabbed one of Dean’s knees and flipped him back into position. Dean was completely out of it now. He barely felt Brian’s cock enter him. He wasn’t hearing the words Brian breathed into his neck. He only felt a weight over him and his own body moving back and forth over scratchy sheets. 

He doesn’t remember getting dressed. Maybe Brian dressed him. Next thing he knows, Brian is pulling up to Dean’s house. He immediately goes inside and goes to sleep.

The next morning, while he’s vomiting into the toilet, John laughs and says something around the lines of “Boys will be boys, I guess.” Dean throws up again.

\---

 **23 years old**

Dean still thinks about that night sometimes. He doesn’t think he was overly traumatized by it. It happened. He never talked to Brian again. He blocked him on Facebook. Ignored his calls and texts. Eventually they just stopped coming. 

Sometimes John will bring up Brian’s parents. He never told John what happened. It would probably hurt him more than it hurt Dean. He wouldn’t be able to bear it. So, sometimes John will let Dean know that he ran into Brian’s mom and she asked about him. That she misses him. Dean just wants to tell John to shut up.

Dean sometimes wonders if Brian knows he’s a rapist. Sometimes he wonders if he even is.

Was that what it was? Rape. He thinks so. But then again, he stopped saying no. He told Brian to get a condom. He didn’t want it, but was it really rape?

He’s heard girls and boys, friends and acquaintances talk about rape. Their personal experiences or their friends'. He even went to a group about it once in college. He didn't say anything. It just wasn’t for him.

He doesn’t even know if the word is right for him. He can’t seem to own it. He doesn’t have flashbacks... or triggers.. or any other thing people talk about. His pain doesn’t equal their pain. 

It happened.

He didn’t want it.

But Dean is fine.


End file.
